Back in France, from the UK and a six weeks internship in central London. It was one of the most vibrant period of time in my life. It was pretty much like a life experience instead of an internship. I was amped to move in England back in the days I applied for photography courses. It just felt right to me to go there. English is not my native language but in my early childhood i used to play in a park which is nearby my former house. My mother has a friend, she is Australian and I clearly remember the conversation they had in English. In the early time of your life, you quickly grew to be fascinated by new and uncommon things, in a very wide range. In a way English, I mean I love English since these early moments. It's within me and it came up again a few years ago. So I was amped to properly experience the english way of life, going in any country English is the main spoken language.
Immersing yourself. It's all about immersing yourself. Forget about the english classes you took, especially if you took english classes in France. You may feel you're fluent because you can have a conversation with your mates or with the teacher but when it comes to the real side of things and especially the actual english conversation with a english native speaker, it's almost like what you've learnt is basically useless and you feel like starting from day one. I thought that would be fine because I've been reading extensively, but actually not. You first of all have hard time understanding any single word because of the accent and because of the fast pace being used. It takes a lot of energy to entirely dedicate yourself to focus. Of course you can grab this word or that word and mixing it up to have a feel of what's being said but to fully understand it's not easy at all. Basically time has nothing to do with a proper understanding. Like I've been immersed in the English way of life during 6 weeks but I don't feel like I improved my spoken English. To be honest I still had hard times to fully understand. It's pretty much like being exposed to the English thing and to speak, hear, read as much as possible without luring to your native language. Each time I read French, my english was bad afterwards. My flatmates were all spanish except a South African girl and they've been living in London for 5 months now. The thing is that they constantly speak spanish and believe me or not, in months they are not fluent at all. So it's more about exposure I reckon.
It was a life experience because of what it happened and how it happened. It was flawless. No question, I felt good there, no wonder about me or whatever else, like sit down and enjoy the whole flight. It's unforgettable. I'm amazed by the gap between English and French media in the extent of the threads you can watch. In the UK the television broadcasting serves small shows, most of the day multiple series are broadcasted and almost in a row. News at ten on BBC1 provides such an insight on what's going on and you can hear about international issues. I did not watch tv that much so I heard very few about what's been going on internationally actually, should I say in France. I gradually lost my interest and my taste for France news as I went across pitty ones once or twice. It dealt with Nicolas Sarkozy and you know the tune he's been using illegally during his meetings. He's just the counter example of the policy he set up when elected and it irritates me a lot. English papers got the chance to mock at our gold marked French Republic. On the other hand in France they have to fill out twice a day a 40 minutes tv show with obsolete stories that draw very little interest. But happens what happens, they must do so even though there's nothing interesting to tell on a regular basis. I did not miss France.
I gradually lost this feel that makes me French. This feel that makes you say, I'm proud of being French, I'm glad to live there, etc... That was a total experience owing to my strategy was to live the english way of life as much as possible. And actually my origins are not that French but mixed. So in the end I know that the right place to be is elsewhere, somewhere English is the main spoken language and the whole thing with a different way of life.
I'm back in my country but don't feel like speaking my native language anymore and French irritates me when spoken. I belong elsewhere, it's that simple.